Harlow Marie

Harlow's Song - Good Charlotte

When you close your eyes and go to sleep tonight,
I'll be right outside your door,
dreams will come and they'll take you away,
let them bring you back to me

And tomorrow when you wake I'll be next to you,
the protection from the day,
when the tears fall down your face like morning dew,
I'll be there to put a smile on your face,
and I'll say

I don't wanna live this life without you, I don't wanna spend the night without you, I don't wanna know what it's like,
I can't dream without you.I can't dream without you.

Let your fire burn bright for the world to see,
you are the better part of me
when you hold my hand I swear that I believe,
I'm living in my wildest dreams 

 and I see

I don't wanna live this life without you, I don't wanna spend the night without you, I don't wanna know what it's like,
I can't dream without you.

Flowers for your hair,
rainbows for your eyes to see,
your dreams are everywhere,
to carry you away from me,
away from me someday,
away from me someday

I don't wanna live this life without you, I don't wanna spend the night without you, I don't wanna know what it's like,
I can't dream without you.
I don't wanna live this life without you, I don't wanna spend the night without you, I don't wanna know what it's like,
I can't dream without you.


             

This is Harlow's story. The story about Harlow. It isn't very long, (so far) but it's my favorite to tell <3

   A little part of the story has already been told. I was young, (nineteen years old) I went into it knowing I was going to be a single parent, and (as with most teen pregnancy's) it was unplanned. But NEVER unwanted. As I've said before, I've always wanted to be a mother, (not necessarily at nineteen, but things like that happen) so the choice on rather or not to have the baby was a very clear one. This does not make me a saint by any means. Not an "oh look at me, I am SSOOO responsible, I am clearly and amazing person for standing up and being a great person and keeping this baby even though I'm young and could have 'bailed' and blah blah blah." No. Having her just happened to be my choice. And it is definitely not the choice for everyone. I personally respect anyone in their wishes on rather or not to become a parent when they become pregnant, because any choice (keeping the child, having an abortion, adoption) is a hard one that you will live with for the rest of your life. Mine just happened to be becoming a patent at nineteen....

    I'm sure it would have been nice to be older, married, have a career, a house of my own, all of my ducks in a row, that sort of thing. But they weren't, and I was flying by the seat of my pants, and I had the most AMAZING journey! I had such a wonderful pregnancy! And besides being pretty much narcoleptic the first three months of my pregnancy, and sick maybe twice, it was smooth sailing the whole time. My hair grew out of control, my nails where perfect, my skin was flawless, my demeanor was always that of the happiest person on the planet, and I just glowed the entire time. Every little kick and movement and hiccup and wiggle from the first to the last absolutely delighted me. I can honestly say I LOVED being pregnant! Wasn't a huge fan of having to pee every hour on the hour during about the last month or so, and I found it rather amusing that I couldn't get off most flat surfaces, ( couches, chairs, beds, tables, whatnot ) but it was the best time of my life. And then one night.....

   

  February 3rd, just a little after mid night I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep. I had had a long day filled with running around doing last minute baby prep, running errands, visiting friends, ect. I was more then ready for a good nights sleep. So while I was laying there, thinking about all the wonderful things that are going to happen once she gets here, thinking about all the love this little girl will know from everyone who cares about us, thinking about what she looks like.... and POP. Pop? My sister had told me when her water broke, she heard a popping sound. Could this be the same popping sound? Why yes, yes it was. Time to tell mom, time to call sis, time to have a baby  :D

  Well, after 6 hours, (and getting sent home once) we where finally admitted. And after 18 long hours, my epidural running out twice, (the last time being when I was actually ready to push, that was fun with no meds)  endless "I can't do this" talks with my mom, and a very loud pop, (pop? That isn't supposed to happen) she was finally here, not breathing, with a broken clavicle (that was the pop. She was too big) and a boogered up eye.
    Needless to say, I saw her for maybe 3 minutes and they took her away. They got her breathing (thank god) and took her for x rays. I was confused and scared. I'm a brand new (young) mom and here they are taking my poor baby away already. But thankfully, everything ended up being ok, her eye, (which ended up being a cyst ) healed in a little over a week (after a second hospital visit and some super charged antibiotics), her shoulder healed super fast, and my pretty little baby is growing up to be a beautiful little girl :)

  The first few months where tough, but nothing I couldn't handle.
   At first it was a sick baby who (thank God) got better in a matter of weeks, then I started to experience some Postpartum Depression, ( I never wanted to hurt Harlow or anything like that, I just cried all the time, for no reason whatsoever) then I had a few people show me their true colors, (thankfully early on, so Harlow didn't have to experience the hurt of them leaving. And thankfully they did at all, they where clearly undeserving of my child and I's love. ) and just the normal run of the mill struggles of being a new parent. But like I said before, nothing I couldn't handle, and after a while everything just fell perfectly into place, and life became the golden thing it is supposed to be. Motherhood is the strangest, most wonderful journey I have ever been on, and it is most definitely not for the faint of heart. It is a job I wouldn't trade for all the tea in China <3
   And now (with great, great pleasure) I present to you day six's photo. 

               A photo of someone you love.