I'm such a failure....

Chloe, I KNOW! I'm such a fail at this. But you know how spaz-tastic I am. :D
  Also, I happen to have worlds SLOWEST computer, ( which is going the way of the 'Office Space' printer once my financial aid gets here ) which makes this photo challenge thing rather a pain, but I am back! And I'm going to try not to fail so bad in the next few days.

         A photo of yourself when you where a baby.

             Any photo you like for any reason.

               A photo of a night you loved.

              A photo of when you where happy.

A photo of one of your favorite moves ( Velvet Goldmine )



Day fourteen is supposed to be best friends, see Thanksgiving post for those photos :)

A photo of you and a family member ( my favorite man on the planet, my papa <3 )

        A photo from your childhood ( sis and I )





So epic! So many missed days.
  OH!!! And little Miss Harlow started walking the other day!! It's so exciting!

Warning: She gets SUPER crabby at the end of this video  :) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rest of the week off!

  Yay for me! So maybe now I can stop being a lazy bum and can ACTUALLY keep up with my photo challenge!
  On another more ANNOYING note, I can't get any of the videos / music I want to post to show up. Help anyone?

             A photo of something you stand for.

   A photo of something you enjoy doing (taking pictures)

Harlow Marie

Harlow's Song - Good Charlotte

When you close your eyes and go to sleep tonight,
I'll be right outside your door,
dreams will come and they'll take you away,
let them bring you back to me

And tomorrow when you wake I'll be next to you,
the protection from the day,
when the tears fall down your face like morning dew,
I'll be there to put a smile on your face,
and I'll say

I don't wanna live this life without you, I don't wanna spend the night without you, I don't wanna know what it's like,
I can't dream without you.I can't dream without you.

Let your fire burn bright for the world to see,
you are the better part of me
when you hold my hand I swear that I believe,
I'm living in my wildest dreams 

 and I see

I don't wanna live this life without you, I don't wanna spend the night without you, I don't wanna know what it's like,
I can't dream without you.

Flowers for your hair,
rainbows for your eyes to see,
your dreams are everywhere,
to carry you away from me,
away from me someday,
away from me someday

I don't wanna live this life without you, I don't wanna spend the night without you, I don't wanna know what it's like,
I can't dream without you.
I don't wanna live this life without you, I don't wanna spend the night without you, I don't wanna know what it's like,
I can't dream without you.


             

This is Harlow's story. The story about Harlow. It isn't very long, (so far) but it's my favorite to tell <3

   A little part of the story has already been told. I was young, (nineteen years old) I went into it knowing I was going to be a single parent, and (as with most teen pregnancy's) it was unplanned. But NEVER unwanted. As I've said before, I've always wanted to be a mother, (not necessarily at nineteen, but things like that happen) so the choice on rather or not to have the baby was a very clear one. This does not make me a saint by any means. Not an "oh look at me, I am SSOOO responsible, I am clearly and amazing person for standing up and being a great person and keeping this baby even though I'm young and could have 'bailed' and blah blah blah." No. Having her just happened to be my choice. And it is definitely not the choice for everyone. I personally respect anyone in their wishes on rather or not to become a parent when they become pregnant, because any choice (keeping the child, having an abortion, adoption) is a hard one that you will live with for the rest of your life. Mine just happened to be becoming a patent at nineteen....

    I'm sure it would have been nice to be older, married, have a career, a house of my own, all of my ducks in a row, that sort of thing. But they weren't, and I was flying by the seat of my pants, and I had the most AMAZING journey! I had such a wonderful pregnancy! And besides being pretty much narcoleptic the first three months of my pregnancy, and sick maybe twice, it was smooth sailing the whole time. My hair grew out of control, my nails where perfect, my skin was flawless, my demeanor was always that of the happiest person on the planet, and I just glowed the entire time. Every little kick and movement and hiccup and wiggle from the first to the last absolutely delighted me. I can honestly say I LOVED being pregnant! Wasn't a huge fan of having to pee every hour on the hour during about the last month or so, and I found it rather amusing that I couldn't get off most flat surfaces, ( couches, chairs, beds, tables, whatnot ) but it was the best time of my life. And then one night.....

   

  February 3rd, just a little after mid night I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep. I had had a long day filled with running around doing last minute baby prep, running errands, visiting friends, ect. I was more then ready for a good nights sleep. So while I was laying there, thinking about all the wonderful things that are going to happen once she gets here, thinking about all the love this little girl will know from everyone who cares about us, thinking about what she looks like.... and POP. Pop? My sister had told me when her water broke, she heard a popping sound. Could this be the same popping sound? Why yes, yes it was. Time to tell mom, time to call sis, time to have a baby  :D

  Well, after 6 hours, (and getting sent home once) we where finally admitted. And after 18 long hours, my epidural running out twice, (the last time being when I was actually ready to push, that was fun with no meds)  endless "I can't do this" talks with my mom, and a very loud pop, (pop? That isn't supposed to happen) she was finally here, not breathing, with a broken clavicle (that was the pop. She was too big) and a boogered up eye.
    Needless to say, I saw her for maybe 3 minutes and they took her away. They got her breathing (thank god) and took her for x rays. I was confused and scared. I'm a brand new (young) mom and here they are taking my poor baby away already. But thankfully, everything ended up being ok, her eye, (which ended up being a cyst ) healed in a little over a week (after a second hospital visit and some super charged antibiotics), her shoulder healed super fast, and my pretty little baby is growing up to be a beautiful little girl :)

  The first few months where tough, but nothing I couldn't handle.
   At first it was a sick baby who (thank God) got better in a matter of weeks, then I started to experience some Postpartum Depression, ( I never wanted to hurt Harlow or anything like that, I just cried all the time, for no reason whatsoever) then I had a few people show me their true colors, (thankfully early on, so Harlow didn't have to experience the hurt of them leaving. And thankfully they did at all, they where clearly undeserving of my child and I's love. ) and just the normal run of the mill struggles of being a new parent. But like I said before, nothing I couldn't handle, and after a while everything just fell perfectly into place, and life became the golden thing it is supposed to be. Motherhood is the strangest, most wonderful journey I have ever been on, and it is most definitely not for the faint of heart. It is a job I wouldn't trade for all the tea in China <3
   And now (with great, great pleasure) I present to you day six's photo. 

               A photo of someone you love.

Took me long enough....

Been super busy lately and haven't had time to make any posts at all! Good news is I have a few days off this week so I can spend them at home with the baby getting some stuff done :) Here are days four and five, and even though I am actually on day six, that one gets it's own special post <3

A photo of a place you’d like to visit (French countryside)

              A photo that makes you laugh <3

Oh Thursday.....

Thursday, Thursday, Thursday.
Pretty uneventful day you are. Except for maybe the hundreds of drink specials at the bars. But I honestly can only think of maybe three things that sound worse then drinking right now. I'm just not feeling it, and haven't been for a while. I think I'm outgrowing it, actually.
So I think today, (after I put the baby to sleep, O'course) I'm gonna go hang out with my good friend Chloe. I freakin' love that girl, and I'm seriously way overdue for some Mandy/Chloe talking time. I wish she was twenty one, so at least we could go and be social with people. But one on one time is just as good :)
 So today is day three of the photo challenge! I must say, I really enjoy this photo challenge thing. I think it's cute as hell :) And while we are on the subject of my amazing friend Chloe, here is the third days photo, and I look really bad! :D

                                                                           A photo that makes you happy.

Happy December!

Happy happy December everyone! Only 24 days till Christmas! (23 till Christmas Eve!) I can't believe it is December already. I will be celebrating my very first Christmas with my baby girl! I'm so very excited for that. I got so many things for her and my nephew :) Any-who, today is day two of the photo challenge. I also have a special treat. It's a band called Iron and Wine. The cute Singer introduced this band to me the other night, and I am REALLY taking a liking to them. This is my favorite song by them so far, and I just love everything about this song and video  :)
So I will leave you today with an amazing song by and amazing band, and day two's photo.



             Iron and Wine "Boy With a Coin"

                                                                            On the edge of seventeen.
                                                                     A photo of yourself at least a year ago.

Happy happy happy.....

 Oh man, I am one happy panda today! I finally got to hang out with the man I fancy. And it was fantastic. We really seemed to click and just had an amazing time together :) I'll spare you all a giggly rant, but man, am I giggley!

 So on a different note, I found this thing a few days ago, and I figured I would do it on here. It's called a thirty day photo challenge. You have a list of pictures you need to post, and everyday is a new one. I thought it was really fun and cute, and a great way to get to writing everyday! So I will leave you with the first (not very good! :P) photo, and a big ol' smile :D

                                                                              A photo of you today.

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough." - Oprah Winfrey

This blog has been three days in the making. Between the baby and work, I didn't really have enough time to get this ALL done in one sitting. It was supposed to be a Thanksgiving post, but it's a few days late :)
I am going to warn you in advance that this blog is going to be epic. I have so many things to be thankful for, and I want to make sure I get most (for I can not get all, there isn't enough time or computer space) of those things.
I truly believe that I have to be one of the most (if not most) blessed people in the world. I have so much love, kindness, compassion and well wishes in my life, it is incredible. I don't ever have time or a reason to be sad, because I have all these wonderful things and people in my life. And now I would like to share with you all some of the (many many many) things I am thankful for in my life.

"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body." -  Elizabeth Stone


   The cheese to my macaroni, the bread to my butter, the key to my heart, the most beautiful baby girl in the world, my daughter Harlow Marie.
  I'm not sure if my life ever had meaning before I had her, I'm not sure how I ever had a moment of true happiness before I had her, I'm not sure how I ever felt joy in my life before I felt her kick or saw her face.  The moment I went from being just a normal, average run of the mill person to the highest title a woman can have, "Mother", was the day my life began. All I have ever wanted to be my whole life was a mother, and I finally had my chance. It didn't matter that I was young, it didn't matter that she wasn't planned, it didn't matter that I was going into my first pregnancy as a single parent. All that went through my mind was I finally had the one thing I had dreamed about since I was a little girl, and how someone must be looking down on me and smiling, as this was truly a gift and miracle from some higher power.
   I have never loved anyone or anything more deeply in my life. I have lost countless nights of sleep just so I could stay awake all night and watch her sleep. I would give absolutely ANYTHING for the safety, happiness, and well being of this little girl. And I would have from the moment I met her. It is TRULY amazing how much love you can have for someone you just met. If it's true what they say, that a baby chooses it's parents before it is born, then I am the luckiest woman alive to have gotten the child I did. She is perfect in every way, shape, and form, from the top of her fuzzy little head down to her ten tiny little toes and everywhere in between. Thank you for choosing me, thank you for choosing our family, and thank you for being exactly who you are. You are my life, you are my love, you are my dream, and I am so beyond happy and thankful that I get to spend the rest of my life with you.  <3

"In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony." - Eva Burrows


If you ever wonder why I'm loud, outspoken, quirky, goofy, kind, hard headed, mouthy, independent, loving, or anything else, look at my family, and you will see where I get it from. Mostly women, (there are only tow men in my family, my Papa *grandfather* and my nephew) they are the strongest group of people I've ever met.  And also the most loving. You would be pretty hard pressed to find a family nowadays as close knit as we are. I am EXTREMELY thankful that I was raised by ALL of my family, because I picked up a few little personality traits from them all, which I love.
They are so loving, and supportive, I can't imagine what I would do without them. We've all been through so much together, and it has done nothing but made us stronger. We are always there for each other, no matter the time, no matter the situation, no matter what. Just a bunch of good, honest people, who would give you the shirt off their back any day of the week. And that attitude has shaped me into the person I am today. I will do anything for the people I love, and I know that comes from being raised by this fabulous group of people. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world, and I know they feel the same about me. If what I said above about babies choosing their families is true, then I made the very best decision of my life <3

 

 

"That's what a friend is for, when your lost in darkness and searching for the light, to help you through those lonely nights, when everything around you fails just hold out your hand, and I'll come running, that's what a friend is for." -Marty Keith 

 

And last but CERTAINLY not least, my friends. And as you can see, there are a whole lot of them. These people are just way too amazing for words. The most amazing group of people I've ever had the privilege of calling friends. Most of them I've known since high school, maybe longer, and a few are new. Regardless, they are the most down to earth, honest, true people on the planet, and I am extremely lucky to have them. I've definitely had my share of flakey "friends"; "friends" who used me for my money, my car, "friends" who would constantly put me down and talk down to me, for whatever reason, "friends" who where never really friends at all. I can safely say that all those people are out of my life, (thank God!) and now I am only left with the good ones.
I truly believe that these people are my soul mates. I have never been one to think that you need a man or significant other to make you happy, and I know that if I can spend the rest of my life with these people and be just as happy as I am right now, then I will be perfectly fine with being single forever.
We are loud. We are outspoken. We are about as goofy as they come. We giggle like school girls over the dumbest things. We make obnoxious TV/Movie references at the most inappropriately appropriate times. We drink like Jersey kids. We dress depending on our moods. We dance like it's going out of style. We'll hold each others hair and earnings whenever the time calls for it. We can't keep anything from each other, no matter how stupid or ill planned that something was. We laugh at each other, we cry with each other. We are weekend warriors. We are machines. We are the happiest little clams on the planet, and nothing can bring us down.
We are who we are, and we are damn good at it.



That, ladies and gentlemen, is my epic Thanksgiving post. About three days too late, but better late then never right? Obviously I couldn't list EVERYTHING or EVERYONE I am thankful for, because I mean hey, this took three days, it would take me years to write one about everyone and everything I am thankful for! But this is a pretty good start, and I think I will post further on the things I am thankful for, even though it isn't Thanksgiving, because I am thankful for new things each and everyday :)

Hope everyone's Thanksgiving was as good as mine was!

Oh Jason....

                                                                             I MAD fancy him <3

 "Dating is just awkward moments and one person wants more than the other. It's just that constant strangeness. I think it's a very real thing." -- Jason Schwartzman

I went out on a limb....

And I'll be damned, the branch didn't break :)

So I decided I would ask out someone I happen to fancy for coffee, ( something I NEVER do, I'm rather painfully shy) and wouldn't you know it, he said yes. I've been thinking a lot lately and talking with my friends (and momma :) and I've really come to the conclusion that I need to take more risks, be a little bolder with life. This is the only one I've got, so I really need to make it mine. And I believe asking a very attractive man to coffee is a nice first step :)

I've been thinking of it for a while, and figured I needed to just do it, or I never would. So talking to a good friend of mine, (who give me a HUGE confidence/ego boost, assuring me anyone who would turn down any time with me must be insane) I finally found the stones to do it. And I did it.. Then, I played the waiting game. Well, it payed off this morning when I checked my phone at a VERY early workday with all hands on deck, and then announced to my whole store that my invitation was accepted.
I am SUCH a girl.

So, wish me well tomorrow, because I am VERY nervous. Not only am I painfully shy, did I also mention my wit flies out the window (screaming like it's being murdered, as fast as it can possibly go) when I get nervous? I guess that's why they say "Do one bold thing today, then run like Hell."
Pppffttt........ I got this ;)


And now, I will leave you with some words from the great Eddie Izzard, (which sums up the difference between the direction my mind is going and what actually comes out my mouth) and some pictures from the week.   <3


"I had to chat up girls, and I'd only tagged them before. I didn't have the verbal power to be able to say, "Susan, I saw you in the classroom today. As the sun came from behind the clouds, a burst of brilliant light caught your hair, it was haloed in front of me. You turned, your eyes flashed fire into my soul, I immediately read the words of Dostoevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, 'I fancy you.' " But no! At 13, you're just going, " 'Ello, Sue. I saw you in the room... I've got legs, have you? Oh yeah... Do you like bread? I've got a French loaf. [mimes smacking her with the loaf and dashing off] Bye! (I love you!)"

                                                                                My amazing friend Chloe and I.

                                                                              Picture of me taking a picture (LOVE<3)

                                                                                  Chloe and I's feet.

               One of my latest tattoos. (my moms handwriting)

            Colorado Springs, Colorado + Prescott, Arizona = Home <3

                                                                                  Home, Downtown Prescott.

It's all so new....

Oh dear.
I hope this blog doesn't end up going the way of every plant I've ever had (which means I forgot about it and it dies.) Needless to say, I am absolutely new to this. I just figured it would be nice to write about things I wanted to write about, things I see everyday, things that happen in my small little town (which I love with all my heart), Things I find interesting, or maybe even things I want to know about.
I'm just a (fairly) normal girl, with anything but ordinary interests.



      But let's just get some things out of the way:



   I am not the every-kind-of-girl who thinks that just because she has a camera, she is a photographer. I like to take pictures. It's a sometimes hobby, sometimes I take good photos, and sometimes I like to show them to people. That's all. No more, no less.

   I do not listen to obscure indie/punk/jazz/pop or otherwise bands. If I start to prattle on about a band you've never heard of, they are more likely then not local, and I happen to have a fondness for them.
   But I do have a HUGE love for music. I wish I knew more about it, and kick myself constantly for never learning how to play and instrument and being an obstinate, headstrong child and refusing to let my mom put me into any sort of music lesson. That being said, if you DO know of any obscure bands that strike your fancy, feel free to share it with me!

    I love surrounding myself with creative people. Artists, musicians, poets, writers, I love them all. I am very drawn to those people, and think life would be (VERY) dull and lifeless without people like that in it.

   If there is anything you would like to see from me or know about me, (within reason, of course) just let me know. This blog is all about life and living it, seeing new things, meeting new people, trying new things, family, friends, and the never-ending pursuit of happiness.  



When it comes down to it, I'm just me, and I'm trying to be the best damn me I can be and have fun while I'm doing it, and I hope we can all learn something along the ride.